small things

I’ve been thinking a lot about growth lately and have noticed that I often tend to focus on the areas in my life that I’m already comfortable with and have the predisposition for. If I’m not careful, I tend to build on this current model which can greatly limit the possibilities. I have noticed though, that when I break out of this paradigm and try to dive into areas that I’m not nearly as comfortable with, things change dramatically and I experience a completely new and more expansive type of growth.

One of the most apparent examples for me is in relationship with the feminine. I have to admit that it can be really hard at times to relate with interactions based more on feeling than on intellect. Apparently I’ve built up a few walls. ;) I have to say though that I do find that when I let go of what I’m clinging to and open up to another side of the equation and really try to understand, that there is a huge shift and my world becomes much more open in completely different type of way. This isn’t always easy… but that’s the point! I feel that real growth often happens when we step onto the shaky ground rather than the solid ground that we’re most comfortable on.

Of course there are many examples to choose from and they will obviously differ from person to person but we all know when they come up. I think we all share the same indicator… our bodies, right? They always let us know when something is threatening our current point of view… and it’s usually pretty strong to say the least. Usually we defend this reaction rather than realizing that it’s an indication that we’ve just stumbled upon an aspect of ourselves which is least evolved. It’s rather strange!

When I work on simply defending/supporting my current perspective and on proving that other perspectives aren’t as important, not only do I remain pretty much stagnant, I also create division with others, which I believe is one of the larger issues we face here on planet earth. In my opinion, true “intelligence” (and I use that term broadly) isn’t in our ability to prove how our opinions are correct and other perspectives aren’t, it’s actually in our ability to put ourselves in others shoes and really understand their perspective (whether we agree with it or not). This is so much harder if you ask me, but wow, there’s so much more opportunity for deeper bonds with others and tremendous expansion in ourselves.

I believe that for us to truly create a sustainable world in which we can all live, we must continually strive to expand our frame of reference (aka the collected patterns that make up who we are) so that we can truly understand and have empathy for others, their experience and perspectives.

To me, this is real growth.