Tagged with: giving

Giving, for most people, is like putting money in a parking meter. They resent the parking meter for not accepting dollar bills when it only accepts coins. If we are to successfully give to our partners, we must be accountable to give in the currency they cherish…. To sum all this up, one of the major causes of frustration and resentment in relationships is that men tend to automatically give to women what men need, while women give men what a woman would most appreciate.

Giving, for most people, is like putting money in a parking meter. They resent the parking meter for not accepting dollar bills when it only accepts coins. If we are to successfully give to our partners, we must be accountable to give in the currency they cherish…. To sum all this up, one of the major causes of frustration and resentment in relationships is that men tend to automatically give to women what men need, while women give men what a woman would most appreciate.

What makes for a meaningful life? I consider each day, not just the life as a whole. I look at four ingredients. First, was it a day of virtue? I’m talking about basic Buddhist ethics—avoiding harmful behavior of body, speech, and mind; devoting ourselves to wholesome behavior and to qualities like awareness and compassion. Second, I’d like to feel happy rather than miserable. The realized beings I’ve known exemplify extraordinary states of well-being, and it shows in their demeanor, their way of dealing with adversity, with life, with other people. And third, pursuit of the truth—seeking to understand the nature of life, of reality, of interpersonal relationships, or the nature of mind. But you could do all that sitting quietly in a room. None of us exists in isolation, however, so there is a fourth ingredient: a meaningful life must also answer the question, “What have I brought to the world?” If I can look at a day and see that virtue, happiness, truth, and living an altruistic life are prominent elements, I can say, “You know, I’m a happy camper.” Pursuing happiness does not depend on my checkbook, or the behavior of my spouse, or my job, or my salary. I can live a meaningful life even if I only have ten minutes left.

What makes for a meaningful life? I consider each day, not just the life as a whole. I look at four ingredients. First, was it a day of virtue? I’m talking about basic Buddhist ethics—avoiding harmful behavior of body, speech, and mind; devoting ourselves to wholesome behavior and to qualities like awareness and compassion. Second, I’d like to feel happy rather than miserable. The realized beings I’ve known exemplify extraordinary states of well-being, and it shows in their demeanor, their way of dealing with adversity, with life, with other people. And third, pursuit of the truth—seeking to understand the nature of life, of reality, of interpersonal relationships, or the nature of mind. But you could do all that sitting quietly in a room. None of us exists in isolation, however, so there is a fourth ingredient: a meaningful life must also answer the question, “What have I brought to the world?” If I can look at a day and see that virtue, happiness, truth, and living an altruistic life are prominent elements, I can say, “You know, I’m a happy camper.” Pursuing happiness does not depend on my checkbook, or the behavior of my spouse, or my job, or my salary. I can live a meaningful life even if I only have ten minutes left.

From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that we are here for the sake of each other. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.

From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that we are here for the sake of each other. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.

earthdrop
Individual and Collective Evolution

A very big part of individual and collective evolution and development has to do with the way we understand our experience and the way we interpret our experience. There’s a very big difference between the experience of intensity, no matter what kind of intensity it is, and actually understanding what it is that’s happening to us. As our own interest in the human experience deepens, and we become interested in the philosophical and spiritual context of our own experience and of the human experience, that interest will have a dramatic effect on the way we interpret the experience that we’re…

- Andrew Cohen

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